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Chapter 8 PREVIEW Feedback

posted Sep 21, 2016 05:44:40 by SteveHanson
Post your feedback for Chapter 8 here.
[Last edited Oct 10, 2017 23:44:51]
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To his friend a man
a friend shall prove,
To him and the friend of his friend;
But never a man
shall friendship make
With one of his foeman's friends.
--Havamal
page   1 2 next last
22 replies
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LucaCherstich said Sep 21, 2016 21:30:15
Page 200, Section "Influences from the East", speaking of Koth:
"Indeed, the worship of foreign gods like Ishtar, Bel, and Anu HAS ECLIPSED the worship of Mitra..."

THIS CONTRADICTS

Page 260, Section "Koth": "MOST Kothians worship Mitra, but some bow before Ishtar....."

HOW CAN THE CULT OF MITRA HAVE BEEN ECLIPSED IF MOST KOTHIANS STILL WORSHIP MITRA????

I always thought that the first option was true....please, some Howardian scholar check it!!
[Last edited Sep 21, 2016 21:33:41]
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LucaCherstich said Sep 21, 2016 21:32:45
The sub-chapter in p.228-232 is called "THE VILAYET SEA AND THE WESTERN OCEAN".

Unfortunately there is a lot about the Western Ocean and NOTHING about the Vilayet sea!!
Should you maybe delete the reference to the Vilayet in the chapter title and use just "The Western Ocean"??
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AsheMarler said Sep 22, 2016 06:40:16
How do we download the Chapter 8 preview? When I went to the area I downloaded the other chapters, I get the message "owner of this folder has not added any files".
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LucaCherstich said Sep 22, 2016 17:47:03
If you are a backer you should receive an email with the new link.
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AsheMarler said Sep 23, 2016 02:43:50
I am a backer and was able to get the other Chapters earlier. I sent an email to Lloyd at Modiphius and hope he can help out.
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DaSoultan said Sep 23, 2016 05:45:35
Same problem here...

***Edit***
I re-checked my mailbox and it turned there was a new message from "Lloyd, Modiphius" in another inbox (promotions inbox as I'm using a gmail e-mail).

In this message you get informed that there is a new link to where the handbook's previews are stored. I can't obviously copy this link here but if you're searching, no doubt you'll eventually find it somewhere in your inbox.

Hope that helped.

Regards,

DS
[Last edited Sep 23, 2016 09:23:26]
"I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus Dickus'."
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Luke JW said Sep 25, 2016 19:23:04
Page 223 and 225 - Amalric's letter is duplicated.

Page 257 - This section should be called The Dreaming West, instead of Borderlands which is the name of the previous section.
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Luke JW said Sep 25, 2016 19:26:49
Page 207 - under The Mysterious East - Conan the Wanderer should be italicised.

Page 233 - Is Olgerd Vladislav further detailed in Conan the Wanderer or Conan the Brigand? The latter seems more likely, given the chapter and his place in the stories.
[Last edited Sep 25, 2016 19:27:23]
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DanielU.Thibault said Sep 27, 2016 02:39:30
Page 199:

"and the Turanians to southeast" should be "and the Turanians to the southeast".

Page 200:

"Ophir may not be largest or strongest of the Hyborian kingdoms" should be "Ophir may not be the largest or strongest of the Hyborian kingdoms"

"wealthiest due to presence of numerous gold" should be "wealthiest due to the presence of numerous gold"

"a land made of up of many rival city-states" should be "a land made up of many rival city-states"

Page 201:

"unbiased" should not be hyphenated "unbi-ased" but rather "un-biased".
[Last edited Oct 15, 2016 18:49:19]
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William Both said Sep 27, 2016 07:04:49
Page 208: Inset for the Hyborian Shorthand. Middle of the paragraph, there is a sentence that starts "This he created his Hyborian Age...". Should this be 'Thus he created his Hyborian Age..." ?
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DanielU.Thibault said Oct 03, 2016 02:41:02
Page 202:

"South of Koth is vast land of Shem" should be "South of Koth is the vast land of Shem".

"Their nobility, however, remain as haughty and hubristic as one might imagine" should be "Their nobility, however, remains as haughty and hubristic as one might imagine".

Page 203:

"to have drawn this information was an Latin translation" should be "to have drawn this information was a Latin translation".

Page 204:

"a Stygian sorcerer who welded an artifact of great power" should be "a Stygian sorcerer who wielded an artifact of great power".

Page 206:

"who have taken proficiency with the horse and the bow, to unheard-of extremes" should be "who have taken proficiency with the horse and the bow to unheard-of extremes".
[Last edited Oct 15, 2016 18:49:45]
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DanielU.Thibault said Oct 04, 2016 11:52:51
Page 207:

"in the Conan the ... sourcebooks" should have "Conan the ..." in italics.

"of Nordheim — Asgard and Vanaheim — and Hyperborea" should be "of Nordheim (Asgard and Vanaheim) and Hyperborea".

"covers thesw areas" should be "covers these areas".

"Conan the Wanderer discusses these" should have "Conan the Wanderer" in italics.

"switching tone and setting as dramatically as the tales of Conan’s life became known to the world at large" makes little sense: "as dramatically" is about style and way of doing things while "as the tales became known" is about timing; the two aren't comparable.

Page 208:

"between Turan and their southern neighbor, Vendhya" should be "between Turan and its southern neighbor, Vendhya".

"I learned of the tribes of region" should be "I learned of the tribes of the region"

"This he created his Hyborian Age" should be "Thus he created his Hyborian Age".

"Nogorod" should be "Novgorod".
[Last edited Oct 15, 2016 18:50:07]
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DanielU.Thibault said Oct 05, 2016 02:03:20
Page 209:

"What do the civilized folks know the frozen lands to the north?" should be "What do the civilized folks know of the frozen lands to the north?"

"or the even one of the northern lands" should be "or even one of the northern lands"

Page 211:

"that the southrons hold so dearly." should be "that the southrons hold so dear."

"The Gundermen, have been trained as soldiers and sent across" should be either "The Gundermen, having been trained as soldiers and sent across" or "The Gundermen have been trained as soldiers and sent across".

Page 212:

"Cimmerians hold fast this land with a tenacity like none other" should be "Cimmerians hold fast to this land with a tenacity like none other".

"though those on to the west of their land make raids into Pictland" should be "though those in their western lands make raids into Pictland".

Page 213:

"Aquilonia sought to colonize Cimmeria and built settlements among its border" should be "Aquilonia sought to colonize Cimmeria and built settlements along its border".
[Last edited Oct 15, 2016 18:50:34]
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DanielU.Thibault said Oct 06, 2016 02:26:56
Page 213:

"each village arranged around a tall, stave-topped long-halls" should be "each village arranged around a tall, stave-topped long-hall"

Page 214:

"a vast snowy field that, to the Æsir gleams with the light of the newly-risen sun, and to the Vanir blinds those who behold it" should be "a vast snowy field that, to the Æsir, gleams with the light of the newly-risen sun, while to the Vanir it blinds those who behold it"

Page 215:

"Hyperborea is not united under a single king, and instead its cities are ruled by minor kings or lords" should be "Hyperborea is not united under a single king: instead, its cities are ruled by minor kings or lords"

"the Gunderman hold no other gods" should be "the Gundermen hold no other gods"

"The farmers pay tribute to Aquilonia in gold and a portion of their harvest, but in private, many Gunderman speak" should be "The farmers pay tribute to Aquilonia in gold and with a portion of their harvest, but in private, many Gundermen speak"

Page 216:

"Come, let me give you tour of Zamora the Accursed!" should be "Come, let me give you a tour of Zamora the Accursed!"

"Thieves need opportunities to practice their rarified arts" should be "Thieves need opportunities to practice their rarefied arts" (although "rarify" isn't an error as such, "rarefy" is preferable)

Page 217:

"The city lies roughly parallel across a sloping hill, with the Capital high above and the remnants of Old Town below." makes little sense. Parallel to what?

"trade route that runs through the city, south east to north west, that bisects the town" should be "trade route that runs through the city, south east to north west, and which bisects the town"

"on the way to Shadizar and northwards the kingdom of Brythunia" should be "on the way to Shadizar and northwards to the kingdom of Brythunia"

"surrounded by tall, sturdy walls, and surrounded on three sides by" should be "encircled by tall, sturdy walls, and surrounded on three sides by"

"is a tall, smooth, featureless tower, surrounded by high walls and many guards." should be "is a tall, smooth, featureless tower, surrounded by high walls and many guards: the Tower of the Elephant."

Page 218:

"Sooner or later, every traveler [...] or perhaps to do a little “business”?" The question mark is not justified. Substitute a period.

Page 219:

"king, worn by weather and the ages is located in this district" should be "king, worn by weather and the ages, is located in this district"

"Legend holds vast wealth and furious danger lurk below" should be "Legend holds that vast wealth and furious danger lurk below"

"being a carved out of a niche of the Temple District" should be "being a niche carved out of the Temple District"

"Specialized thieves tools are available" should be "Specialized thieves' tools are available"

"poisons, alchemical formula, and unique equipment" should be "poisons, alchemical formulas, and unique equipment"

"There are marks and signs to help those in know navigate," should be "There are marks and signs to help those in the know to navigate,"

Page 220:

"Items stolen on a purely speculative basis must be appraised if they have not already done so," should be "Items stolen on a purely speculative basis must be appraised if this has not already been done,"

"like the barbaric code to the north" should be "like the barbaric code of the north"
[Last edited Oct 15, 2016 18:51:20]
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DanielU.Thibault said Oct 10, 2016 01:10:57
Page 220 (continued):

"from the age of seven to thirteen years of age." should be "from the age of seven to thirteen."

Page 221:

"the days of great armies sweeping from one city to another have long eroded." should be "the days of great armies sweeping from one city to another are long passed."

"lacks the same influence" should be "lack the same influence".

"nations whose founders clawed their identities clawed piece-by-piece from the rude earth, Brythunia stands as that with most" should be "nations whose founders clawed their identities piece-by-piece from the rude earth, Brythunia stands as the one with the most".

"Acheron, as that nation" should be "Acheron, and that nation".

Page 222:

"women of Brythunia, of whom men covet and dream." should be "women of Brythunia, which men covet and dream of." (one does not "covet of")

"fragments of the intellectual achievements" should be "fragments of their intellectual achievements".

"for the roots of complex thought, mathematics, and some forms of alchemy all began in ancient Corinthia" should be "for the roots of complex thought, mathematics, and some forms of alchemy all lie in ancient Corinthia".

Page 223:

"You have asked your uncle what this life is like, and the pages that follow, I will tell you." should be "You have asked your uncle what this life is like: in the pages that follow, I will tell you."

Page 224:

"feast like king" should be "feast like kings"

"Wanderers all, the mercenary comes from no place and every place at once." should be "Wanderers all, mercenaries come from no place and every place at once."

"as they do the peasants" should be "as they do with the peasants"

"one must seize from it what they can" should be "one must seize from it what one can"

"Seen as expendable by their employers, a mercenary who has lasted a few bloody seasons has likely been one of the few survivors of a massacre" should be "Seen as expendable by their employers, mercenaries who have lasted a few bloody seasons have likely been some of the few survivors of a massacre".

Page 225:

Why is Amalric's letter duplicated here?

"Each dog brother or sword-sister" should be "Each dog-brother or sword-sister".

"from dew-eyed youth to stripling thief" should be "from doe-eyed youth to stripling thief"

Page 226:

"King Strabonus’ grip" should be "King Strabonus’s grip"

Page 227:

"If the ancient empire [...] it is only a matter of time before they do." should be "If the ancient empire [...] it is only a matter of time before it does."

Page 228:

"the truest and most reliable thoroughfares of are those of the great seas" should be "the truest and most reliable thoroughfares are those of the great seas".

Page 229:

"the Red Hand’s flag is black with a scarlet skull." which means the illustration on page 228 is incorrect.

"It is little wonder, then, that [...] in search of loot and plunder?" should be "Is it little wonder, then, that [...] in search of loot and plunder?"

"Argossean, on the other hand," should be "Argossean vessels, on the other hand,"

"Shemitish carry fine silks," should be "Shemitish ships carry fine silks,"

"what they’ve stolen, without somebody" should be "what they’ve stolen without somebody"

"feed their bodies into the drink" should be "feed their bodies to the drink"
[Last edited Oct 15, 2016 19:55:10]
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