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New Adventure: The Sands of Arashin-Ral

posted Sep 13, 2016 03:05:33 by QBird
Hey all,

I posted a few days ago about an adventure I came up with. I was going to make a few tweaks, but I figure I'll just post it and see if I can source some help from the community. It's the first one I've ever written, and my players seemed to enjoy themselves quite a bit.

The Sands of Arashin-Ral.

I'm looking for help in simplifying the structure of the adventure, as I think I wrote it a little too verbose and strict. In play, many things ended up being different than what I wrote, and I think I need to distill it down to something a little more loose. To the more experienced GMs out there, I would love to hear what you do when you're coming up with adventures to help keep your process quick and the adventure smooth. This took me longer than I think it should to come up with, so any tips people have would be greatly appreciated.

EDIT: v1.1 is now live, you can download it here.
[Last edited May 27, 2017 02:35:58]
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5 replies
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David Thomas said Sep 14, 2016 14:27:25
Hey Qbird, here are my thoughts.

Overall, I really like the tone and style/writing of your adventure. I think it's pretty good!

To start, maybe have the PC's meeting Cornahn in the town, having already accepted a partnership. They can be meeting to finalize the deal. You don't really want to give the players any way to say "No thanks" at the beginning of an adventure. Otherwise, if they do you have to do some quick railroading to get them on course, or scrap the adventure.

You could start with them approaching town during a sandstorm, having to make resistance tests, and maybe being ambushed by (easily defeated) raiders. This starts right in the action, and introduces the danger of the desert.

I'd allow a sorcerer to turn into a Giant Scorpion by spending 3 Doom instead of rolling sorcery. That way they don't look like incompetents failing their sorcery roll, and it moves things along faster.

Give some alternate way past the D3 difficulty door, like a secret lever, or make a note that they can Succeed with Cost. Otherwise the adventure could end right there with a failed Athletics test. Basically you never want a possible end to an adventure based upon a failed test.

The adventure is wordy, but that's kind of what you have to do when writing for others to use. When writing for myself, my adventures are just a few notes.
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QBird said Sep 25, 2016 16:58:56
@Dave

Thanks for the tips. I incorporated some of your advice into my adventure, the new version of which is linked below.

The Sands of Arashin-Ral, v1.1

Biggest change is shortening the intro by quite a lot and getting to the action more directly. I also removed those potential road blocks I had built in there without realizing it.

Hope you guys enjoy it, I'm currently working on another one using a more "framework" format to try and loosen it up. I'll post when it's ready.
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David Thomas said Sep 29, 2016 17:43:52
Nice work!
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SandySimonton said Dec 16, 2016 23:15:21
It looked like Khadid left the party in scene 1, but he's in the caravan fight in scene 2?
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QBird said Dec 19, 2016 15:39:11
Sandy,

Khadid rides up after the party has left the city to try and renegotiate the deal. The two times I have run this scene, he ends up getting Cornahn to accept his new terms (whatever you deem fit), and the party has accepted his help in finding the temple. You can have him join the fight and help the PCs, but I had him show up at the end and put a few arrows into fleeing slavers.
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